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Karl Rove
MC Karl Rove is a Great American who was sent from Heaven by God. Since God and Mrs. God couldn't have any more kids (can't talk about it right this minute) they sent Karl to America's Planet. He served loyally as the chief adviser for The Greatest President Ever, and is often referred to as "Bush's Brain". However, he has also been regarded as Bush's gut, both metaphorically and physically. Rove is known to Bush as "Turd Blossom," whereas he is known to Stephen by the affectionate pet name "Feces Geranium." After many years of loyal service, Rove announced his planned retirement from being Bush's main political adviser during the end of August, 2007. He wants to further his hippity-hop career, and of course spend more time with his family. It totally had nothing to do with subpoenas, Joe Wilson's Wife, Iraq, or anything like that! Karl was, of course, more than happy to testify about the matter, but things kept coming up and he just couldn't find the time to find a plausible reason to dodge an oath. Finally, in March 2009, Karl cleared enough space in his busy baby-eating political consulting schedule to chat with the Judiciary Committee, when that dirty liberal Barack Hussein Obama ruined the whole thing by asking for a "compromise" to preserve "the integrity of the office". See, America? We told you Obama was a crook. Karl's Youth Like Clark Kent, Karl had troubles growing up. Due to his superpowers and his baby-faced features, Karl always felt out-of-the-mainstream. He was a nerd before the term was cool, another indication of just what a trailblazer this visionary truly is. As he matured, he began to realize that it was the other kids who were the problem. Like Bill Gates and various other geeks, he vowed to vanquish his enemies through guile and awkward social skills. His life changed when he worked as a gopher for the Papalatine/Skywalker election of a long, long time ago. His father was a normal, loving (perhaps) Mormon or other variety of Christian. Karl had normal relations with girls and was never on the bitch side of a fight. Rove Masterminds 2006 GOP Victory Karl Rove has been called "Bush's Brain," but he demonstrated during the 2006 midterm elections that he is, in fact, The World's Brain. Working with fresh-faced RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman, Rove created an astounding victory for the GOP in that election. He and Mehlman pulled off their electoral feat while keeping the liberal media in the dark. It was a stroke of amazing genius. Oh yeah, before we forget, information, no matter how important might be irretrievably lost--from computers and from brilliant brains. So, it's a good thing I posted this before I forgot! How bad would that have been!? Karl Rove Factoids .]] * He has smelly breath. * He quacks like Dick Cheney a duck. * He eats 10 times his own weight a day, a diet full of truthiness. * He loves candy bars and deep-fried puppies. * He is an avid fan of rap music, especially gangsta rap. * His nickame is "Turd Blossom" because of his aromatic body odor. * Oozes a sticky, musky scented secretion that makes women unable to resist touching him or pull their arms away after doing so. * His truthiness bends reality to his will. Dead To Us I am sadden to announce that Karl Rove is a hippie traitor and as of September 15, 2010 he is dead to us. He broke The Sacred Commandment Meltdown Karl Rove suffered from a mental breakdown and has been hospitalized. It seems to be contagious. See Also * MC Rove * The Greatest President Ever * The Contents of Karl Rove's Basement Freezer Photo Gallery .]] Trial.]] .]] External Tubes *Karl Rove to Receive Medal of Freedom for Discovering Secret Mooslims in the Bush Administration *Karl Rove asks rich friends for help! *Help! Karl Rove is now being attacked by Rightwing Leftwing Extremists!!! *Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh are now Frenemies *Karl Rove cant take the tea bagging *Stop Hating Palin! *Karl Rove wins award for helping only Real Americans win elections *IOU 300 Million